Sargon Oakes

Sargon Nabopolassar Oakes was born in space, near the Kuiper Belt, on July 13th, 1962. He received a Degree in zoödiscovery from the Boston University of Discovering Things, and went on to become a famous zoödiscoverer, discovering tens of previously unknown pseudanimals.

Personal Life
Sargon Oakes was born to famed astroozoologists Gladys and Erwin Oakes. He has an older brother, Tokugawa Ashikaga Oakes (born May 13th, 1960,) and two older sisters, Agrippina Aquilia Oakes (born September 13th, 1957,) and Chichimecacihuatzin Coyolxauhqui Oakes (born January 13th, 1961.) His favourite drink is liquid weasel.

Education
Oakes, in elementary school, has been described by his 4th grade History teacher Mrs. Wilson as "just another average student." After completing high school, he went to the Boston University of Discovering Things, and received a degree in zoödiscovery.

Quotations
"Everything is new, if you make it." (Tagline, printed on t-shirts)

"I don't use technology. I use intelligence." (From interview with Polymath Magazine)

"People like [explorer The Honorable Dr.] Terrence [X. Pseudonym, Ph. D.] are trying to do too much. I speak one language, and only because I have to. He speaks seventeen. I explore every day. I haven't done anything with myself." (In 2015 vlog, Jack of One Trade)

"Yes, I know, I was the first baby in space. So what‽" (Reportedly said, dismissively)

Relation with Trash Ketchup
Oakes was Trash "Red" Ketchup's mentor, teacher, guide, trainer, sensei, and role model. Upon discovering that Ketchup was incarcerated, he looked up from his field work for 4.692 seconds, with a face of great misery and shock. He then went back to his work.

Publications
Sargon Oakes has never released a publication.